Aspiring Nomad

So, I've been thinking.

On one side, theres going to college. Becoming an amazing oboist for a not-too-shabby symphony somewhere. Getting my degree. Living in a fairly decent house. Being somebody. Grocery shopping every thursday. Having money and living the classic American life.

Then, on the other side, theres becoming a bum. No school. No house. No real job. No address, no social security card. No identity. Very few belongings. Perhaps a TracFone.

These life plans sound equally appealing to me.

Im feeling the constraints of society right now. I feel like living as a number, conforming to the roles society has set up for us, and living that classic American life isn't really all that great. I dont want to have to follow all these rules, these pointless laws, these social mores. I would much rather be nobody. I dont want an identity. I want to walk around the world, as no one. I want no country, no government to "protect" me. I want to belong to nothing except Earth.

I think I want to be an outlaw or something.

If I have no country, claim no name, why should any laws apply to me? I dont want to be a part of any system. Ill give up being able to call 911 if I get harassed or attacked or somebody steals my stuff. If I feel like getting revenge, Ill do it myself. And if I cant, then I probably deserve it anyway. I want to live because Im winning, and die because I lost.

I think this is just a fancy version of the typical "I want to do what I want, when I want, where I want, and not have anyone interfere".

I know some people that I'm sure will have successful lives. I'll play oboe for them. Work as a freelance performer, playing weddings for friends and friends of friends. Want your kid to learn piano? Call me up. All under the table. No contracts, no records. I do this now. I will continue, possibly on a larger scale. This is how I will make my money.

I will spend that money on food, clothes, gas, and mild intoxicants.

What else do I really need? Maybe every once in a while, Ill stop by your house and ask to borrow your shower. Maybe share my intoxicants. See the world. The older I get, the more I see that connections aren't really that hard to come by.

This life, it sounds pretty damn appealing.

Im not entirely sure if its possible, but if the college idea doesnt work out, I now officially have a back up plan. You call it being a bum. A hobo. Homeless. A product of unfortunate circumstances. Being a nomad, if youre creative.

I call it freedom.

Done.

So I am currently in AP Music Theory class, and I have come to the realization that I am completely done with school. Not done as in about to graduate done, I mean done as in I am totally through with having to do this and I want no more to do with this stage of my life. I've had my share of papers, worksheets, tests, quizzes, math, Shakespere, etc., and now I would really just like to chill. There is absolutely no point in being in at 5 of my 7 classes; I'm ahead by enough that most of my schedule is made up of pointless electives. You really should be able to test out of high school. The majority of this is a complete waste of my time. Theres even a slight possibility that, if I wasnt actively involved in school, I would be doing something productive with my time right now. I remember having this distinct feeling last year right after winter break too... Ive had Senioritis second semester for the past two years, and Im STILL not even a senior yet. I have another whole year of this! This just might kill me.

I have no idea how to do paragraphs on this yet. Until I learn, I will be using a larger font at the beginning of what would be a new one. Obviously. I tried just spacing the paragraphs on the last post, but it would always end up as either two spaces or none at all, so I gave up. Frustration is one of my least favorite things to feel, so Id rather just not try than get mad at it. That probably says something really deep about me as a person, but I have no idea what.

Also, today is my 11/12ths birthday.

Resolution

It's New Years day, and what better way to start than with a blog? Being able to say "yeah, I have a blog" lends with it an air of status. The blogger class seems like a pretty elite group, reserved for only the super cool/super smart/super computer savvy people. Im not entirely which catagory I fall in, but the title of "blogger" is something I could live with. Plus, it looks like theres still a little space left on this bandwagon, so might as well.

I try keeping journals and such on a pretty regular basis and I always give up after a month or so, but we'll see how this goes. The freedom and versatility of a blog though makes it more appealing to me than your regular, old fashioned pen-on-paper journal. However, odds are, I'll give up relatively quickly, as is the usual habit with these types of undertakings. Or, maybe, I'll keep up with this and it will be something great. Hell, maybe I'll start going to the gym and eating salads and stuff too.

Maybe I'll cut down on the sarcasm.

Or, you know, not.

Continuing success or not, I'm officially embarking on the adventure.

And in case it ends well, it should be noted that I am currently eating a cheeze calzone from Bella Roma and chillin out to some Bob Marley, which is exactly the same way I greeted the year last night.